Where are you directing your frustrations?

For some there comes a point in life where you are just tired with the monotony of certain activities and waking up every day knowing you have to do a particular task. It seems to be a battle to get yourself out of bed and sometimes even out of the house. Well that particular activity for me is my current full time job.

 

Looking back from my undergraduate graduation to now, I feel like I have accomplished absolutely nothing with my life but paying bills and making/revising numerous budgets. This past year has been very interesting to say the least. Spontaneously word vomiting all the emotions I held in for years just to have the other person see me as a disrespectful child and then in turn rebelling against every single person who "caused" me to feel the way I do. Having a relationship be completely severed over an orange -- I know that sounds utterly ridiculous, but was bound to happen after months full of disrespect, disregard, and deception. There were family issues on both sides. Financial issues. Issues with trying to get into a graduate program... This past year was just drama filled.

 

The build up of all these things, one issue after the next, just brought me to the point where I was just overwhelmed. I just wanted to be angry and upset because every time I thought things were getting better something would happen to over shadow that progress. One thing that was constant throughout this past year was my job. It was so easy to transfer the frustration I felt with the way my life was going to my current job situation because everyone who knows the details of my job expected me to be miserable. And as time went on and  I was reaching my one year mark, my attitude about my job slowly changed. I allowed my frustration with life to make me miserable at work.

 

This job was literally holding things together and I slowly started to hate it. Guys really think about where you are directing your frustrations. Besides God, are these the people and relationships that are holding you together. Is your frustration being intertwined with the stress of schoolwork or a job? How about with the stress or disappointments that are associated with being in a family unit? It is so easy to misdirect negative feelings towards people and things, especially when there is a root of bitterness.

 

My bitter root stemmed from feeling stuck at my job because it was so "safe." As long as I followed the rules I still had a job -- which I guess is the theory behind most companies unless there is an unforeseen financial hit. But being safe made me feel comfortable. I got too comfortable living a life where I was no longer being mentally challenged. I got comfortable working a job that I knew wasn't benefiting me professionally, especially as a college graduate. All these thoughts floated around my head for weeks causing me to dislike my job more and more everyday.

 

During this time period God was convicting my heart because I started to loathe the gift he gave. I started to be angry with the prayer he answered. I was taking his love and providing nature for granted. I knew the way I was feeling about work wasn't how God wanted me to feel because it was no longer bringing glory to him. I was no longer thanking him for providing a job I desperately need, but was thanking him the moment 9 o'clock hit so I could leave as soon as I possibly could just to do nothing at home. I was able to see that I was no longer pushing myself to be the best employee I could possibly be. At that point I realized I was no longer the hard working daughter God created me to be and I had to change that.

 

This Weeks Challenge: Identify where and how you are directing your frustrations. Is it in a way that if others where looking into your life they would be able to see God? If not, then how can that change? Google additional scriptures to help you change your attitude and maintain a positive outlook about where you are currently placed. Allow this week to be the starting point of misdirecting love to people and situations that don't deserve it, because in all reality you too are not deserving of love but Christ still gives it to you freely.

Sunset Above Haiti

Hello Children of a BEAUTIFUL God

Last time I wrote, I told you that my grandmother died. I went to Haiti for the funeral and it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I'm so happy God heard me and gave me the strength to get through the weekend. The night I left Haiti I was able to watch the sunset through the airplane window. It was so beautiful!

When you least expect it, God shows you a glimpse of who He is. His Majesty. His Glory. His Beauty. My mind will never fully comprehend how great He truly is until the day comes when this Earth is no more and I am in His presence along with my Grandmother and the rest of my family. Oh, what a WONDERFUL day that will be!! ♥

-:- PeaceLoveHarmony -:-

Comfort in Death

Hello Wonderful Children of the Most High God.

This isn't the best time for my family because on Friday my Grandmother died. Even though I didn't grow up with her I still love her. She worked so hard in order to send my mother and I to the United States and my Aunt to Guadeloupe. It really sucks that I never really got to know her but I'm happy that I did get to meet her. My tears have been an on-and-off thing and were the worst Sunday morning during Praise and Worship. They were singing I Will Run and the moment they started signing the line "Come, Come, I hear you calling come" I was gone. Tears rushing down my face because God called my Grandmother to leave us and go to him.

I haven't cried since but I know I will be this weekend. Her funeral will be on Saturday, so my mother and I will be traveling to Haiti to get everything situated. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this weekend but I know that I will get through it.

This is just so surreal. It feels like she's still alive but reality will hit like a ton of bricks once the wailing starts and I actually see her. The cry's of grief from Haitians are so passionate that they WILL evoke emotion within you, and I don't know if I'll really be ready for that.

This is a bit different but I wanted to share some of my life with you all and what has been encouraging me all weekend. Gods just been telling me that he's my rock. First in Deuteronomy 32, then in a comment made during church, and again in my devotional Monday. So as encouragement I want to share with you something I posted on facebook yesterday.

The quote comes from Sheri Rose Shepherd's book His Princess- Love Letters from Your King. The title is "My Princess... Don't Ever Compromise" on page 66.

-:- PeaceLoveHarmony -:-

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"Hold on to Me and My power within you, and I promise that you will make it through. When the wicked winds try to blow out the flame of your faith or try to cause you to compromise, stand on My truth...I am your solid Rock, and you can conquer anything in My strength."  

Seems like my theme at the moment is "Lord as Rock." Yeah this moment in time sucks, but I'll get through. When tears want to fall, my Rock will keep me standing. He gave life and when his perfect will is done He will take life. Every step we take and every move we make God knew long before we were ever put into the womb. He knew every single moment leading do our deaths and everyone we would impact. Through hardships and tears HE IS WORTHY of all the praise we can pour out of ourselves. (I feel like I could go on but this status is long enough. I do hope this encourages someone else who is also going through the death of a loved one.)

Never Forget

Joshua 4: 6-7

“We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you can tell them, 'They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the LORD's Covenant went across.' These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.” [NLT]

God doesn't want us to forget where he brought us from. We may or may not know where we would be right now if it wasn't for God's grace. In my case, I would still be living in a third world country possibly without a formal education. I would either be roaming the streets looking for love and entering dangerous relationships or in a loveless marriage. But because of God's love for me and his plan for my life, whatever it may be, I'm here in the United States in my last few years of college interacting with his people. God had the Israelites use stones to build a memorial so that his FUTURE children will ask what they meant. If there is nothing to represent where we were brought from then our kids and those who will be entering the body of Christ won't know and their faith in Christ won't be strengthen completely. I guess that's the power of having and giving our testimonies.

A woman in my life tried showing this to me a while back. I guess at the time I focused too much on the fact that whatever testimony I had wasn't great enough to help anyone so I really thought I had no testimony. Now I realize that it doesn't have to be some huge thing like God delivered you from some huge sin (as the eyes of man would see it), but something that you feel is so minute can be GREAT in God's eyes.

So one of my great testimonies is that God held me TIGHT! He didn't allow me to fall into some sin that I would feel like I could never get out of. He held me so tight that he gave me the mother I have to discipline me as a child. A mother wouldn't have let me run the streets thinking I was a big girl at the age of 7. My testimony is that God brought me out a desperate country to another country where my full potential can be reached, and will be reached through Him, with Him.

Song that popped into my head:

Artist: Hillsong

Song: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever

-:- PeaceLoveHarmony -:-